Thursday, July 28, 2005
We have been suffering through a horrible heat wave around here for the past couple of weeks...but yesterday a cold front came through and the temps only reached a high on 75! It was a beautiful sunny day! DH took a 1/2 day off of work and on a whim we went to a baseball game! It was so fun spending the entire day with my family......it seems we never get to do things like that anymore, always have some other obligation (softball games, birthday parties, work things, etc...) After our great day together at the ball park, we decided to eat Pizza (the place has a special $5 pizza if the Royals win (and they did!) So we called up some friends at last minute and headed to the Pizza place.....another nice part of our day! Well here is the best part of the day~ you know that i have been whining about what we are going to do if I am not pregnant, but i havent said a word to hubby about it.......he is always makes comments about me being pregnant and I just say "if you say so"......anywhoo~ last night on our drive home I stated, ""If i am not pregnant and get my period next week, I am treating myself to a pedicure" and his response was "Honey, if you are not pregnant, we will figure things out.....dont fret about it" IE meaning that he is willing to go through with IVF, and we will figure out a way to finance it!! yesterday was a great day......
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Made it through the first week of hell....now on to the most horrifying week. I had my 7dpo (days past ovulation) test yesterday. My progesterone level was 15.1. The nurse said that they like to see anything over 10, so mine was fine. Unfortunately a decent progesterone level is not an indicator of pregnancy. I am sure that I will not make it until next tuesday to test......I will not be able to fight the urge by this weekend.......that is if my temps remain high and look positive. I tested at 11dpo with Mason, and got my first positive.......sooooo, now I have a hard time getting past that day without wanting to test.
Something pretty frustrating going on at our house........can't get my husband to talk about "what's next" if I am not pregnant.....he says we will figure that out if it happens......I like to know that we have a plan.....the doc had said "1 IUI, then onto IVF"...well, if this is the case, we need to figure out how we are going to finance the process.....ummm, $11,000 is a lot of money....we dont have any savings anymore since we sold the house. I dont want the process to be delayed by not having the funds.......so i would like to discuss our options (ie: home equity loan, fertility medical loan)....going deeper into debt is a scary situation but on the bright side, I am expecting a large sum of money from a lawsuit sometime by the end of the year.....we will then be able to pay off all of our debt.......Well I guess, I will just have to wait until next week to start getting some of my questions answered....
Friday, July 22, 2005
You know, I orginally just planned on writing in here on days where I actually had some news. But I really need to just vent sometimes or just share my feelings for the day. The past few days have been agonizing, I cannot get passed "what if this doesnt work"........I should be able to just wait until the 2 weeks are up and then worry about the outcome. I have absolutely no control over the outcome, now or in 2 weeks......i keep telling myself this, but it just doesnt seem to help calm my nerves. DH is so great and he is very optimistic ( or so he acts)....he has taken such a positive approach but me, I am so negative......i really am upset about his sperm count, it is not his fault and I am not mad at him but just the fact it was so low, I really dont have any hope of it working. I am basing this on our past experiences. The month we got pregnant with Mason, I was truly optimistic because of the following factors:
1) I had 2 large follies
2) DH sperm count was larger than it had ever been (about 70mil).
I walked out of the clinic thinking "this could actually happen this time"....and it did. I do not have that feeling what so ever. I know it sounds like I am whining, I probably am, I just wish that I could be more optimistic.
Hoping that the next few days will be better. we will be busy all weekend, so I should be able to keep my mind off of this for a few days!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Had the IUI done this am. Not really feeling very positive about the whole experience, sperm count was really low. The good news is that the motility was 93% so at least most of Jeff's little guys were swimming! It is really frustrating that we will have to wait for 2 weeks before we know if it worked or not.....2 weeks seems like an eternity right now! I am also agonizing over the cost of this month's ttc adventure.......we spent about $1000 for this one shot, that includes all of our meds and our initial consult. When we were trying to get pregnant before, we spent just a little more than that much on the whole process (4IUI's and meds)....I know if it works, it will be all worth it & then some.......but the thought of it not working, makes me sick to my stomach!! Not only that, but our next step will be 10x more expensive......so scary to think about!! Well all I can say is that this is going to an awful long 2 weeks......guess I will need to keep myself busy!!!
Monday, July 18, 2005
Gave myself the shot.......really the anticipation was the worst part......once i got the nerve to actually poke myself, it was fine. I had Jeff there just incase I couldn't go through with it.....he got a good chuckle out of me being so nervous. So tomorrow is the big day....I am trying not to freak myself out about my temp rise this morning, I keep telling myself that it is because of the shot,not that I already ovulated....RELAX!!!
We have been trying to decide whether Jeff would give his "sample" at home and me take it with me to the insemination or if he would go with me and give his sample at the clinic......having the option is nice, because since it is a work day, jeff could just go on to work. But in order to give sample at home.......there are rules.....I would have to keep sample at body temp (suggested I put the container in my bra!) and get the sample to the clinic within 1 hr.....I was fine with doing this until Jeff suggested what would happen if I got pulled over by the police for some reason (speeding, accident...any reason)... how would I explain having a cup of sperm in my bra!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So I think the decision stands.....Jeff is going with me!!!! I am not taking any chances!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Let's just say that getting up at 6:30 in the morning on a Sunday is NO FUN!! Dont think it would have been so bad if the nighttime had gone better! between kids and animals, I got hardly any sleep!! Mason woke up just as I was going to bed, not sure why he was crying, but I brought him up to our bed to see if he would sleep with us ( this is the 1st we've done this). He went right to sleep, but I was so worried about rolling on him or other things so I couldn't sleep! Then the dog puked in our bed (UGH!), it was at my footend of the bed, so I threw a towel on it and let the dog out......the dog then woke us up a few more times.....i put Mason back in his bed so that I could try to get some sleep......then all of a sudden(it seemed, anyway) the alarm went off!!! Anyway, off of my rant now. The appt went well. I had bloodwork drawn, not sure when or if I will hear the results.....I then had the sono. The follie is growing just like it should be, 2mm a day. Today it was 20mm. I was instructed to give myself the trigger shot tonite between 7-10pm. We were also instructed to BD tonite, this threw me for a loop because we had timed it so that we would have 4 days abstinence before the IUI......but nurse said to make sure and BD tonite, doesnt matter that DH has low count. I will go in first thing Tuesday morning for the insemination!
Friday, July 15, 2005
Had my sonogram today. Looks like the clomid is doing its job, one 16mm follie on my left side. A follicle generally grows 2mm per day, so the plan is to go back on Sunday (cd10) have bloodwork and another sonogram done. It seems that most likely I will then give myself the trigger shot on Sunday evening and come in for IUI on tuesday!!! She said the only variation maybe if the follie looks like it is ready to ovulate on Sunday, may have IUI on monday morning.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Had the bloodwork done this morning. The clinic called me by 1pm with the results. Here they are:
FSH= 5.5 (they want under 10) YEAH!
E2= 56 (they prefer under 50) said mine was ok still.
Now that I have the results......NOTHING, I have no idea what they mean!! I know they have something to do with egg quality but really dont know what it means that my E2 level is above the preferred level.
The doctor is away on vacation until Thursday, so I am unable to get my "clear" plan. I talked to the nurse about my early ovulation over the past 2 months and she agreed that it would be best for me to come in on CD8 (Friday) and have a sonogram done to check my follicles. She will discuss my case with the doctor on Thursday and call me if the doctor doesnt want us to do the scan that early (normally done on cd10). Good news, looks like we will be having the insemination done over next weekend!!!! Bad news, I will have to give myself a shot in the abdomin.....yikes, never done that before!! I am so nervous & excited at the same time. Well got my prescription filled for the clomid. I will take 100mg starting tomorrow. I really hope this works!
Friday, July 08, 2005
I just realized that I use a lot of acronyms.
Here is a key to some of them:
TTC= trying to conceive
cd= cycle day
IUI= intra-uterine insemination
af= aunt flo (period)
RE= Reproductive Endocronologist
DH= Darling Husband
BD= baby dance (intercourse)
Well the cycle has finally started. So today is officially cycle day 1. I am really excited about our chances this cycle. I am hoping that with the extra monitoring will do the trick! I just made appt to have my cd3 bloodwork done, actually will be done on cd4 since the weekend is in the way. The nurse is so nice and informative, she spelled out my entire plan on the phone and was extremely helpful when I had questions. Things seem like they will move pretty fast.....should have insemination by day 11! I will know more after monday's bloodwork comes back. The nice thing is, she stated that I will have blood drawn on Monday and have results back Monday afternoon!! No real long waiting!! YEAH.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
well, I am still sitting here, just waiting for AF to arrive.....I am so anxious to get our next cycle going..I am excited to have a plan (although I have been secretly hoping that by some miracle, we wouldnt need the RE next cycle). Today for some odd reason, I took an hpt, not sure why, cuz i know that it is highly unlikely that I would get pregnant on my own......of course, it was negative. I knew it would be......why would I waste a perfectly good hpt....argh!! So if i knew it would be negative, but took the test anyway, why would I be so upset to see a negative???? Not sure why i find it necessary to torture myself that way! Well, needed to vent/whine a little this morning! On to a family picnic ......
Friday, July 01, 2005
Hello! My name is Shelley. I am 38 years old and the mother of 2 great kids. My daughter is 14.5 and a full-blown teenage girl. She will be starting high school in August. My son is 15.5mos old, the center of my universe. He is such a joy! Our little guy is my husband's first born. my husband Jeff, could not be a prouder or better father! It took us a long time to become pregnant with Mason, approximately 15mos. It turns out that we have male fertility issues, we discovered this after finally seeking help 6mos into our TTC journey. We went to a fertility clinic and they started IUI's right away......Mason is the product of the 4th IUI attempt (the one we almost didn't do) After 3 failed IUI's, I was ready to give up, move on to IVF....but my husband said, "let's try one more time"....that was the magic cycle!!
After Mason was born, I knew right away that I would want another! Jeff and I didnt try to prevent pregnancy but we weren't "trying" either. In January 2005, we decided that is was time to "try" again. I went to my doctor and she gave me a Rx for clomid.......we did 50mg of clomid for 3 mos with no success. after the 3rd month, my doctor said that we would need to go back to the fertility docs. I was not ready to start that process yet and decided to keep trying on our own. Jeff and I tried for 2 more months, still with no luck. The day my period came after the 5th month trying, I made the decision to get more aggressive.....i wanted another baby! I searched the internet looking for fertility docs closer to our new home (our old one is too far away), I found one and contacted them immediately. They were so nice on the phone and gave me a password to their website, so I could download the paperwork. I got the paperwork, filled it out and sent it in 2 days later (a thurs). I told my husband that I didnt know how long the process would take or when we would get an appt. I guessed that it would happen sometime in July or Aug.
To my complete surprise, I received a phone call the monday after I sent in the paperwork. The clinic wanted to schedule an appt for the following friday....that was just 4 days away!!! We were told that we would need to BD that night and have 4 days of abstinence before the appt. Jeff would be getting a SA and I would be getting a transvaginal sonogram. The day of the appt finally arrived, I was a bundle of nerves, not really sure why. We spent a total of 3 hours at the clinic and the news was not very promising. Jeff's sperm count was low but the main problem was that the motility was only at 5%! Not only did we have the male issues.......now it seems that my age has become an issue too. I ovulated early and it seems that may be a sign for poor egg quality. We wont know for sure until we are able to do some bloodwork next cycle. The doctor recommended that we try 1 cycle of IUI (since we did get preg before with this procedure), but then onto IVF.
So here we are......getting ready to start the roller coaster ride of TTC.....I am now waiting for my period, so that the ride can begin. Once my cycle starts, I will have to go in for cd3 bloodwork and will start 100mg clomid on cd5-9. Sonogram will be around cd8-10, then possible IUI on cd 12!
So we wait.....