Shell's Journey

For anyone who has ever struggled to have a baby, knows that this is an emotional rollercoaster! Thanks for sharing the ride with us!


Monday, August 29, 2005

some new blinkies......













OK~ Yes, I am bored and have nothing to write......while I am on a "break"......my new obsession is finding blinkies.....need to learn how to make them.....now that would be fun!! thanks to those who do make them, they are great!!!

posted by Shell at 10:55 AM comment(s) made: 0

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Saturday, August 27, 2005

my new blinkie!

Some of my good TTC buddies made this for me:



(to understand what it means, you need to read my journal entry below!)

posted by Shell at 11:35 AM comment(s) made: 0

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

the new plan

Got the call from the nurse! Seems that I will be on a "break" a little longer! I have to stop taking my bcp's (only had 1 left), in 5 days (8/29) I will start taking BCP's again, this time 2x a day. I will go back in on 9/16/05 for another sonogram......If "Bill" is gone, then we can start meds on 9/20. KILL BILL!!!

posted by Shell at 1:54 PM comment(s) made: 0

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Operation KILL BILL


Ok, well I was hoping that I would have better news, but I went to my sono today and after 3 weeks of BCP's....the cyst (which i have decided to name Bill) has only shrunk a little....ARGH!!! I am so freakin' mad right now!! I enjoyed our little break, but now I am ready to take action, get pregnant! I have to wait for the nurse to call me (she needs to speak with doc) about what to do next. She thought that the doc would have me continue bcp's for a few more weeks.....she didnt know if i was to quit for 5 days, then begin again or to just continue......she also didnt know if it would be 2 or 3 more weeks of bcp's. I know that i shouldn't turn this into a money issue, but it really is.....insurance doesnt cover anything....and each sonogram is $200. So on my "break", I have spent $400 on sono's, $15.00 on bcp's, $400 on meds that are sitting in my bathroom(they are for the actual cycle)........it is adding up quickly! we dont have the money, so been charging the visits...it is so frustrating.......I figured out that since we started this 2 mos ago, we have spent approx $2000.00 and no baby to show for it......the next cycle will be about $1200.00(that is not inclucing any extra sonos to view Bill)....ok, off of my little rant now!! Here is the plan: Everybody send "kill Bill the cyst" vibes.....

posted by Shell at 10:30 AM comment(s) made: 0

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Monday, August 15, 2005

little update

I have to say that I am really enjoying this little break of ours......I didnt think I would but it is so nice to not worry about "what cycle day" I am on, or if we have to BD or not, should I do this or not?? etc.... To be proactive, I have been reading books on invitro! I have read 3 in the past 1.5 weeks!! my favorite was called "When Nature is not enough"......it was stories of 5 couples who for different reasons ended up doing IVF.....i like to hear the personal stories! Nice to know that others out there go through the same feelings/emotions that I have been feeling. The other two books were more clinical and explained the whole process. Only 9 more days until my next appt!!!!

posted by Shell at 9:23 AM comment(s) made: 0

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

more blinkies.....








posted by Shell at 4:58 PM comment(s) made: 0

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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Put a pin in the map....

Hey everyone,
I have a map and would like everyone who reads my blog....(journey through hell) to place a pin on the map.......lets fill it up!! It is on the far right bottom ....just click on "place your pin"or it says "view my guest map" and go from there!! Thanks!!

posted by Shell at 10:06 AM comment(s) made: 0

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Monday, August 08, 2005

killing time......


well since I dont get to ttc this month, been spending the day searching for blinkies....yeah, I am bored and really cant stop thinking abount TTC....so thought i would have some fun....



posted by Shell at 3:33 PM comment(s) made: 0

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Friday, August 05, 2005

Change in plans....


well, i started this by comparing TTC to a rollercoaster......and I am on another ride. Went in for my cd2 U/S today and it showed that I have a large cyst on my left ovary! So I am out for this month...having to start BCP's today and take them for 3 weeks, if the cyst is gone after that, then we will start the injectible cycle. I am worn out! I went from being totally depressed earlier in the week, to elated yesterday,now I am down again......WHY CANT THIS BE EASY????

posted by Shell at 9:18 AM comment(s) made: 0

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

another chance.....

Well I am in shock...the nurse just called and stated that the RE wants to do another IUI cycle!! This time we are changing the meds.......no clomid for me this month. This cycle will involve 2 meds....Repronex ( an injectible) and an oral med that for the life of me I cant remember the name...Yikes, hve to give myself shots 1x a day every other day for a total of 4x. ..... So here we go again......
Here is the plan:
U/S tomorrow (cd2)
Start meds on cd 3
U/S on cd10, hcg shot
IUI on cd 12........

posted by Shell at 4:55 PM comment(s) made: 2

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Monday, August 01, 2005

Hopes have been dashed...

Well my temps decided to head south yesterday....slowly but surely...AF is on her way, should be arriving on my doorstep by wednesday.....I caved and took an hpt on Sunday morning.....but it of course was negative.....totally devasted me.....i really didnt think it would have that effect since I have pretty much known that it would be negative over the past 2 weeks. I just wanted it to happen so badly that seeing only one line on the hpt, was the finality of it. REALITY SUCKS! I have to wait for AF to arrive before I can call the RE....I am not sure exactly what is in store for us over the next few weeks......I guess i wont know until i get into the doc. I have been doing some homework/research on IVF.....it seems that to get the cycle started, I would need to go on BCP's for about 3 weeks. I have seen a variety of start dates for BCP's, but the majority seemed to be within the first 5 days after AF arrives. I hope that we can get started right away......I knew that I should have scheduled an IVF consult during this past 2 weeks, so that when the enevitable occurred (AF arriving) I would know the plan... well onto more waiting...... during this wait, i often check the following website to comfort myself that we are not alone in our journey....
http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/empty_arms_mod2.html

posted by Shell at 8:26 AM comment(s) made: 0

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