Friday, July 22, 2005
You know, I orginally just planned on writing in here on days where I actually had some news. But I really need to just vent sometimes or just share my feelings for the day. The past few days have been agonizing, I cannot get passed "what if this doesnt work"........I should be able to just wait until the 2 weeks are up and then worry about the outcome. I have absolutely no control over the outcome, now or in 2 weeks......i keep telling myself this, but it just doesnt seem to help calm my nerves. DH is so great and he is very optimistic ( or so he acts)....he has taken such a positive approach but me, I am so negative......i really am upset about his sperm count, it is not his fault and I am not mad at him but just the fact it was so low, I really dont have any hope of it working. I am basing this on our past experiences. The month we got pregnant with Mason, I was truly optimistic because of the following factors:
1) I had 2 large follies
2) DH sperm count was larger than it had ever been (about 70mil).
I walked out of the clinic thinking "this could actually happen this time"....and it did. I do not have that feeling what so ever. I know it sounds like I am whining, I probably am, I just wish that I could be more optimistic.
Hoping that the next few days will be better. we will be busy all weekend, so I should be able to keep my mind off of this for a few days!
posted by Shell at 3:35 PM comment(s) made:
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