Tuesday, March 07, 2006
feeling a little blah these days......getting harder and harder on me that we are still in Limboland. And even though we have an appt scheduled for the end of the month, Jeff informed me the other day that "well I am not planning on us doing anything until we get your lawsuit money..." What???? then why am i making plans? why did I set up our meeting?? Since we had been talking about trying again, I thought he was on the same page with me about going for it. I honestly have stopped thinking about "when" we get that damn money.....it has been 6 yrs since I was sick, 3 since the lawsuit began....and 1 yr since they told us..."should have it by the end of the year"...argh!! To make matters worse....today was Mom's club and of course preggos everywhere! One nice lady is due with twins in Sept, one looked as if she could go into labor any minute and 2 or three others that were showing. It is so hard not to be envious....I want to be the one complaining about morning sickness or the sore back or how I cant see my feet anymore...and believe me I know that I have it good, I know that I am lucky to have my 2 kids, I know that there are others out there trying for their first....but it doesnt change the desire in my heart to have another baby.
I was watching the news last night.....finally, instead of a story about somebody killing their newborn, a story about a baby that was left at a hospital entrance, with a note saying "sorry, I just cant take care of her"....what a brave and wonderful thing that mother did.....now that baby has a chance, someone will adopt her and love her. It is so tragic when you hear about teens throwing their babies in the trash, etc.....just because they couldn't tell their parents. So I applaud that brave mother!
Just FYI~ I continue to workout on a regular basis, but I will not weigh myself until the end of the month, hopefully my efforts will show in lost inches and pounds. I still have a food issue though, I need to address my eating habits but decided to wait until after our vacation, since it is likely that we will be eating out for every meal during those 6 days.
My spiritual workout is coming along nicely......I made it through a whole bible study without having to leave early due to Mason. Knock on wood that we make it through tomorrow's session!!
posted by Shell at 4:43 PM comment(s) made:
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